Worst Idea Ever
by LemmingMaster
Summary: 4 friends. One laptop. All the zombie plans they'd need to survive. Only problem? It's back at the overrun community college they all attend. Who cares? Not these guys. Please review. M Rating for language. L4D isn't mine, it's Valve's. OC's mine
1. Worst Day Ever

"Are you kidding me? That's quite possibly the worst plan I've ever heard." Randy stared in astonishment at me after my explanation.

"Why?" I got up, hefting my bat. "All my zombie plans are on that laptop, and there's probably a bunch of supplies we can use there as well. It makes perfect sense."

Billy stood as well, taking a long drag on his cigarette. "Randy, as much as I hate to say this, he has a point. He really does have a lot of zombie plans, and the cafeteria there is pretty well stocked. It could very well be a mother lode."

All of us finally looked to Evan, awaiting his opinion. As he looked up to us from his greasy, longish hair, he spoke with barely hidden enthusiasm.

"Dude. We get to kill zombies AND possible damage a crappy community college? I'm completely for this." He finally stood. "Scott? Do you have a plan to get there as well?"

I smiled, "Indeed I do. As long as we have some form of weaponry, we should be okay." I glanced around the gas station we had made our home since the infection. We had managed to avoid having the zombies get in, but we saw some new ones beginning to appear, and without ranged weapons, we were going to have some issues getting around. As we searched around our impromptu fortress, we discovered some basic weapons like crowbars and pipes, but still no guns or really anything. Suddenly, Billy spoke in hushed tones.

"Guys. Shut up. I hear something." We all stood and slowly crept over to the windows. It was midday, and though we'd boarded up the windows, we had left small slats so would could see the outside world.

"Holy shit. No. I am not leaving here. That's psychotic." Randy began to step away from the window, taking deep inhales on his cig to calm himself down. "No. I refuse."

Outside small group of zombie surrounding a school bus that had broken down. It looked like the people inside had made and attempt to fortify it before traveling, and it had failed. The infected were stripping the sheet metal off of it like peeling a potato. We could hear muffled screams inside, and suddenly a string of gunshots rang out from the bus, taking out a few of the zombies, but helping none.

"Oh God….I can't watch this." I turned away after hearing more shrieks and gunshots. "We need to leave soon. I can't stand being stuck here."

After a long silence, Evan spoke."Guys…I think the bus people are dead…." I walked back to the window and checked. The infected were slowly walking away and looking for more prey.

"Do….do you think the guns are still there?" Randy looked at all of us. "I mean, I still don't want to go out there, but hey, guns are better than bats. And really, it's not like those people are going to use them anymore."

I sighed. "Yeah….alright. Let's go searching, gents. Waste not want not, right?" I cracked a small smile. "Let's go, I want this over with before dark."

Evan cracked the door carefully, then turned around. "I have an idea. Let's leave two people behind to watch the place, so the zombies don't get it, yeh?"

Randy immediately got up. "I'm all for that. Just bring me back a gun, okay?"

I nodded, and motioned to Billy. "You do the same. Evan's too psychotic to leave with Randy." He nodded, then too requested a gun. "I got your back, don't worry." I turned back to Evan. "Come on, we got a job to do."

Evan turned back to the door and slowly opened it again. It would be our first time seeing daylight since the world descended into hell.

"Well. This should be amusing." A group of infected stared back at me and Evan, sniffing. From behind, I heard Randy just before he shut the door.

"Oh. Oh damn. This is why I stayed inside."


	2. And It Got Worse

"Well. This….yeah, I really wish I'd thought this part through." I stood with my back to the door, pounding on it. "RANDY! OPEN THE GODDAMNED DOOR!"

"Yeah. No. Try again when they're all missing heads, bud." While Randy was a jerk, he had a point. We had to at least try to kill these things. There were awesome weapons to be had.

"WHOOOOO, LEGAL MURDER!" Evan swung his crowbar high and slammed it back down into a skull, then turned into a whirling dervish of blood and psychosis while I ran interference for him on any that got through his horrifying spectacle of violence. Blood spurted everywhere, parts flew, and maniacal laughter ripped through the air.

"What….in the…..Holy shit." Randy opened the door again, eyes wide. "Jesus Christ man!" He looked at the bodies littering the pumping area, and Evan standing in the center, coated in blood and grinning.

"Can we do that again? " He had a smile from ear to ear, and I had never been more scared in my life.

"No….Never again. Let's go check the bus….My God, man…." I shook myself, and led everyone to the bus. "Billy, you go first."

"What? Why?"

"Because I said so."

"You suck." He grabbed the door and opened, and stepped inside. "It's like an NRA convention In here."

Evan quickly ran past Billy and looked around. "Where's the sniper rifle? Gimme gimme gimme….."

Randy spoke up. "Do we really wanna give the psycho the sniper rifle?"

"Do you want to give him a gun that shoots more than once?" Randy shook his head. "Then shut up." I rooted around for a while and tossed Billy an Uzi and Randy two pistols. Finding a shotgun for myself, I turned to Evan, who had somehow gotten disturbingly close to me without my noticing. I'd have to keep an eye on him. "Yes?"

"Has it occurred to any of you that _we don't know how these work?!"_ He screamed the end, and punctuated it by shooting out the window. I began to rethink bringing him along.

"Do you have a solution Evan?" Billy inched away from the window Evan had exploded. Smart man.

"Yes. Target practice. Follow me." He jumped out of the back of the bus, and looked around. "See those?" A small group of zombies were about 50 feet away. "We have targets."

"Evan. I have a shotgun. Effective range extends to about you." I waved my pump action shotgun at him, and surprisingly, he didn't flinch. He did, however, smack it away and order to me never point it at him again.

"Yeah. You don't need practice. Just don't kill your shoulder. But for basic stuff, use a pistol." He tossed me a pistol and pointed. "Chop chop. We don't have all day."

Billy sighed, and raised his Uzi. "Well, at least we'll learn how it works." He braced himself and fired a burst toward the group, dropping two with dull thuds as the bullets hit their chests. The rest turned and began running. Evan, with surprising speed, fired multiple times, while Randy dropped a few more with well placed shots. I stood back and scrounged the bus for backpacks, ammunition, and anything we could use to keep going. Finding enough to keep us going to what I figured would be a bit longer than our next stop, I jumped out of the bus and heard Evan point out some zombies closer to us.

"Where are they, man? I wanna kill something." I called out, not wanting to miss anymore action.

"I got it, it's cool. They're next to the pumps." I saw him raise his rifle and realized what he was about to do.

"EVAN, NO!"

"FOR SCIENCE!" Evan screamed as he fired the hunting rifle at the gas pumps. I ran toward them, and Billy grabbed me and Randy and threw us behind the bus as Evan jumped after us. The blast rocked us, and we were blown over by the heat and shock waves. After it was all over, Billy got up and grabbed Evan.

"WHAT. THE. FUCK. EVAN. You could've killed us! What were you thinking?!" Billy was madder than I had ever seen him. Then again, the only reason Randy and I weren't screaming at him was because we were still on the ground.

"Go look at the wreckage. You'll see." Billy dropped Evan, picked up his gun, and motioned us to follow him to the remains of the station. We saw more body parts than we thought, and realized that there had been a Horde coming at us. We turned around and looked at him. He smiled. "I'm not crazy, you know."

Randy shook his head and went back in the bus. I followed him, wanting to make sure I hadn't missed any ammo or useful supplies. Randy approached the front of the bus, and began fiddling with the radio.

"Hey, I found something. It looks like there were some people down in Central Illinois these people were trying to meet up with. Something about Champaign. Evan! You know anything about this?" He called out across the bus. Evan poked his head in.

"Now I do. What's it say?" He plopped down next to a TV, and it jolted on.

"Oh God. They're everywhere. Please, send help…" A reporter sitting a hovering helicopter was begging these words out from the TV. "We're low on fuel, and can't land anywhere. These things are…evolving." As he looked out the window again, a long tongue flew out from a window and grabbed him. With an inhuman scream, he was torn from the helicopter and dropped to his death. The cameraman looked on, than quietly, "Holy shit….Uh…That was Mike Matherson….dying. This is Dante Graves….And I'm scared shitless. Send help. Please."

Evan laughed, and turned. "Did Gene Simmons become a zombie?" We chuckled at it, and returned to scavenging. At one point, Billy stiffened, saying he heard a noise, but Evan calmed him down. A bit later, Randy said the same thing, and this time, Evan said nothing. Then I too heard something creaking.

"Evan…Please tell me what you see outside the window." I stood slowly, praying the mass of shadows were due to the sun going down. I checked my watch. 2:30 PM. Not likely.

"Hey, novel idea! Let's run the hell away!" Randy grabbed his pistols, slung his backpack over his shoulder, and opened the emergency door in the back. "Holy shit! Where the hell did these things come from?!" He stumbled back into the bus, while multiple zombies tried to follow him in. I pumped my shotgun and forced them back, coating my aptly named Leonardo Reapers hockey jersey. Randy opened a window on the side and let loose with both pistols. Billy wrenched open the bus door, and quickly emptied the clip of his Uzi into the Horde at the door.

"Guys? We have a problem..," Billy slowly began creeping back, reloading again. "There's way too many." He was trying his best to keep his cool, which Randy had given up on long ago.

"Oh, really? I HADN'T NOTICED!" Randy was firing in all directions, frantically turning with a horrified look on his face. "Oh God, why did I agree to go to class today? I should've stayed home, I hate you all…" The Horde finally slowed and stopped, and he dropped to the floor. "Finally….Hey…Where's Evan?" We looked around. Our lovable psychopath was nowhere to be found.

"This is bad. And I hate to be the one to say this, but we have to keep going." I hefted my shotgun again, and looked around the bloodied bus. "He would have wanted a body count. Let's go."

We piled into a car, and after hotwiring it, we began driving. Billy was the first to speak.

"We should look for him. We need him."

"No. We need to keep going. And I'm driving, so that's what we're going to do." Finally, Randy spoke up.

"He's not dead. He probably just went to find some more stuff to kill, and is pissed that we left without him. He's fine." We were all silent for a few seconds, and realized he was probably right.

Billy began to speak again. "Do you think we should go back for him? I mean, we do nee-" BAM! SPLOOSH!

We nailed a massive , engorged Infected and slammed into a pole. As we sat there, dazed, Randy's deceptively calm voice floated up from the back seat."

"What….the FUCK….was that?"


	3. Excuses I has them

Yo.

LemmingMaster here.

It's been a while since the last update, and I actually have a reason this time other than I'm a lazy bastard. I decided I would bring in a cowriter. They're not on the site, it's one of my friends who has a certain…way with words. He assisted somewhat on the last chapter(the entire news chopper and Gene Simmons thing was his) and I gave him free reign on the next chapter. I hope you enjoy his musings. Or psychotic rantings. I never know with him.

Also.

Review. I need to know what you like and what you don't. Makes it easier to write, yeh?

Wakka,

LM


	4. Breakdown Begins

"Since no one has answered me, I'm going to ask again. What the hell was that?" Randy picked himself up from the floor of the backseat.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and unlocked the car, hearing Randy and Billy get out from behind. The entire front of the car was dented and covered in….something. It looked like I had split a massive Infected in half, and it had exploded all over the car. The smell was rancid, and we hurried to get the guns from the backseat, where thankfully, none of them had gone off.

"Guys, do you hear that?" Billy looked around with apprehension, gripping his Uzi. "It sounds like when we were on that bus…"

Randy grabbed his pistols and turned to me. "We need to move. I didn't like dealing with the fuckers at the bus, and I damn sure haven't adjusted to them now!"

I nodded, then cocked my shotgun, pointing to a building in the distance. "Alright, we're on 159th. This will take us all the way to the school. It's a matter of how long…." I trailed off as the gnashing and roaring got louder. "Or, fuck it, RUN." I broke into a dead sprint, quickly followed by Randy and Billy towards a boarded up building with scrawled writing on it. "Quick! That one!" Randy got in front of me and threw his full weight on the door, cracking it off and falling onto the floor. Picking him up, he and I pushed a large dresser in front of the hole, then put a couch in the way for support.

"Now! Get upstairs!" Billy shouted from above, as he looked out the windows from someone's bedroom, firing out at the Horde. "Oh, shit, there's a big one!" We looked out the windows and stared. A massive Infected was smashing the smaller ones out of the way, and grabbed the car we had left behind.

"Oh, sh-DUCK!" We dove out of the way as the vehicle destroyed the wall we had been by. "Okay, time to go!" We fired parting shots into the crowd and ran from the building and onto the street. We heard the beast crash into the house, and began destroying it, thinking we were in there. We all looked at each other, confused, and then ran when we heard another wall collapse.

Ending up hiding again in a gas station, we cowered in fear, hoping wherever the big zombie was, he wasn't anywhere near us anymore.

"Well….that was….goddamn, everything about today sucks. We're being chased by some crazy ass zombies, Evan's probably dead, they're fucking _evolving_, we're back in a gas station, and dammit, I'M HUNGRY!" Randy punctuated his rant by smacking the counter after every point, and by the end, was cradling his hand in pain. "What we need," he said, in measured tones, "is a goddamned plan. Scott, I demand an explanation."

I jumped to my feet. "Yeah, because I know everything, don't I? I planned this whole thing, just to piss you off. It's all a fucking plot. You know what? Fuck you, I hope you get eaten, ya prick." I walked into the manager's office to cool down, and saw a radio sitting on a desk. Grabbing it quickly, I listened closely, hearing random, panicked voices asking for assistance or directions to safehouses. Looking at my watch, I realized it was about time to wait out the night and hopefully deal with those two in the morning, as I knew Billy would take Randy's side. Maybe I could hook up with another survivor group, and give them my plans. Oh well, more thoughts for the morning. I locked the door behind me, and threw some blackout curtains on the window, hoping nothing got in. It was going to be tough living from here on out.


End file.
